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STEPS TO FORGIVENESS: How Can I Forgive?

Dr. Bridget KingWhole In Him

How can I forgive?

We know forgiveness is important1 for our health and commanded by God, but how do we forgive?

I encourage you to work on learning how to forgive.  There are many roads to forgiveness. I will share a few with you, do not be overwhelmed with the sheer volume of suggestions.

Four Steps: Psychologist Robert Enright1

  1. Uncover your anger.
  2. Decide to forgive.
  3. Work on forgiveness.
  4. Release from emotional prison.

Five Strategies: Elizabeth Scott, MS2

  1. Express yourself.
  2. Look for the positive.
  3. Cultivate empathy.
  4. Protect yourself and move on.
  5. Get help if you need it.

Six steps to forgiveness  Counselinglibrary.org3

  1. Recognize the need to forgive.
  2. Identify exactly what needs to be forgiven.
  3. Consider Intent vs. Impact.
  4. Understand and prevent intentional harm.
  5. Find ways to let it go: verbally, physically, and spiritually.
  6. Move on with joy.
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Seven steps to true forgiveness Thriveworks.4

  1. Acknowledge the hurt (who, why, what, how)
  2. Consider how you were affected
  3. Accept you can not change the past your anger won’t redeem what’s been done.
  4. Determine if you will forgive.
  5. Repair the relationship ( rebuild connection), this is not the same as reconciliation.
  6. Learn what forgiveness means to you, realize it is not for the other person.
  7. Forgive the person silently or verbally, their reaction won’t matter.

As a popular brand proclaims, Just Do It!

For more information on forgiveness read “The Benefits of Forgiveness.

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Scripture References
Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

I Corinthians 13:4-7

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Luke 11:4

4 And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.

Matthew 6:12

12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

Matthew 6:14-15

14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses

Ephesians 4:32

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Colossians 3:13

13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

Matthew 18:21-22

21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Additional Resources
  1. The Benefits Of Forgiveness https://withoutwalls.net/the-benefits-of-forgiveness/
  2. Robert Enright PHD, https://internationalforgiveness.com/need-to-forgive.htm
  3. Elizabeth Scott, MS, 5 Strategies for Forgiving Others
  4. Counseling Library, Six Steps to Forgiveness
  5. Thriveworks, Jon Negroni, 7 Steps to True Forgiveness

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