Who benefits from forgiveness?

“Forgiveness is vitally important for the mental health of those who have been victimized…Forgiveness has been shown to elevate mood, enhance optimism, and guard against anger, stress, anxiety, and depression.”¹  according to Psychology Today.

As humans, we experience hurt.  Hurt can be intentional or unintentional.  It can be inflicted by family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers.

It is inevitable that we will experience and cause hurt, offense, feelings of ill will!

Why Is Forgiveness Hard?

Given these  facts then why is forgiveness so hard?

There is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.

Often we make forgiveness more than it is.  There is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.  We must consider, forgiveness is internal. It does not depend upon someone apologizing, nor does it require reconciliation (resuming prior relationship).

Forgiveness Benefits

According to Psychology Today, extending forgiveness to someone:

1. Allows you to forgive yourself.

Often, you can hold on to feelings of resentment that you allowed certain things to occur. When you forgive, you acknowledge what happened. You accept your role, be it passive or active in the situation. Then, you can let resentment and hurt be replaced with healing.

2. Gets you out of the role of the victim.

No longer allow the negative energy of the circumstance to control you. Begin to focus on yourself, not on what happened. You do not have to pretend it did not happen, or that things are back to the way it was before.

3. Frees you. 

You can focus on positive things and take the power back.

4. Helps your health.

Negative emotions take a toll on your body, mind, and spirit. Anger, anxiety, depression, and stress can lead to high blood pressure and an elevated heart rate (which is damaging to your heart when sustained), and a feeling of loss of control.

5. Helps you move forward on your spiritual path.

It encourages compassion, acts of kindness, and goodness which lead to peace.

Scripture References

Colossians 3:13 (KJV)

Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

Mark 11:25 (KJV)

And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

Matthew 6:14-15 (AMP)

¹⁴ For if you forgive ^[a]others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. ¹⁵ But if you do not forgive others [nurturing your hurt and anger with the result that it interferes with your relationship with God], then your Father will not forgive your trespasses.

Ephesians 4:31-32 (MSG)

Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

Proverbs 10:12 (AMP)

Hatred stirs up strife,
But love covers and overwhelms all transgressions [forgiving and overlooking another’s faults].

Additional resources and references

1.Forgiveness | Psychology Today

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